Still pretty sick, though getting better with each day it seems, and still haven't gone back to work from it all. I'm *anxiously* waiting on my lab results, and I have to physically go back to the hospital to get the results tonight. My cat had a seizure two nights ago and I took him to the vet for it today, he thinks it my cat's thyroid that is causing his hair to fall out and his weird behavior to continue. My little chihuahua just got spayed and so far it's not agreeing with her hiney! It's been non-stop "mess" since she got home Monday. My Roxy (mini dachshund) hasn't seizured since the 1st time, so that's good, and lastly Mailey, my big girl, needs her leg to get fixed, which is another $3000 up front that I don't have. So they are all kinda a mess right now. I can't wait to have ALL of us feeling well and back to normal (I think it's the water :)). I've decided that as of right now, I'm not wanting to be in a plural marriage, for now. If God has another plan, I will accept it, but it's just been too much drama for me, and I've deleted my profile from sisterwives.net and have stopped posting on biblicalfamilies.org it has nothing to do with either site, or the people on it, it's just a huge competition for families and it's really overwhelming for me. I feel like the rope in tug-of-war and I'm so done with it all. Not only that, but it is SO hard to be in my situation of meeting a husband and a wife, trying to not step on a wife's toes, and also trying to get to know a husband, which is weird in itself. I would be willing to go through this all, but at the moment, I just have to leave it alone, and in the future if I feel like it's right for me again, I will be fine with it. **And I am not sick anymore. Totally fine in fact. I feel great.
*I wrote that paragraph before things really hit the fan. My cat died on Monday. I took him to the vet for blood work and a urine analysis and he was so stressed about going that after sitting in the vet office for 20 minutes, his anxiety was too much to handle. He flipped out because he couldn't breath and bit me really hard on my thumb. I had to yell for help, because through all this, the vet didn't look up once to see if I was ok. I had blood gushing from my thumb and my cat was on the floor suffocating. The vet grabbed him, put him on oxygen and gave him a shot to dry up the fluids in his lungs, but he didn't make it. I was gone by the time he died because I thought he would be fine, and I didn't know what was wrong. I immediately went to my grandma's house (she is a nurse) and she washed my wound and called my doctor and I got on antibiotics right away. When I was at the pharmacy, I called the vet to check up on my cat, it had only been an hour, but I wanted to see if he was ok. Apparently they had the wrong number and had been trying to call me to tell me he passed away. I lost it. I absolutely lost it. It was so unexpected and I felt so guilty for putting him under stress and leaving him there. It was the worst feeling in the world knowing he wouldn't ever be at home again. A lot of people just don't understand what this is like. I got my cat when he was a little baby because my dad had just died and I was lonely, so my mom got me him. I loved that cat from day 1. He slept with me, followed me, everything. I loved him with all my heart and soul. He was only 10. Because he bit me, it's been such an ordeal trying to get him back home with me. He has to be tested for rabbies, which can only be done by removing the brain and testing it. So I took him today, in a box, and dropped him off at the Department of Agriculture. It was so painful to see him go, even though it was just his physical body here on earth. He will be cremated after the testing, and I will have his ashes in a week or two. So awful. My other cat, Nana, has been sick ever since he didn't come home. She has thrown up a lot, and just lays there. She is going to the vet. My new dog, Lucy, is sick and needs her stitches out. It's so much to deal with at once when I'm still trying to get through all this and go to work at the same time.
That's about it for now, I have a lot more on my mind, but I will save it for another blog soon.
1 comment:
I am sorry for what your going through Tara, Importantly there isn't anything that I can say to make it better. The plural relationship, well take your time and the right family will understand what you are going through right now.
I know what kind of feeling you are going though when you lose such a special pet. you cat was more then a pet, he was your friend, and a member of your family. no matter what happened in your life he was there for you and accepted you for who you are.
Those are the hardest to get over and you truly never get over their loss.
Some of my boyhood pets I still miss and I am 46 now. Sometime when you are up to stories I will tell you about them. I think you will find they had some things in common with your kitten. I wouldn't go as far as saying the same things cause like us they are an individual with a personality.
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